Thursday, October 6, 2016

Opposite Day - Coming Home, Day 5

As I was looking at the pictures of the beach that I posted on yesterday's blog post, I started reminiscing about how I have felt any time I'm near the water.
It's visceral.
Awe inspiring.
feel almost protective of her, as if no one could possibly love her as I do.

I am completely overwhelmed by the majesty of God;
at the miracle that is the ocean;
at the white-capped waves and deep gray of the Pacific (bottom);

...and at the white sand beaches meeting aquamarine waters of the Gulf of Mexico (top).
(The Gulf pic doesn't AT ALL capture what I know to be true and what is in my mind's eye of my childhood waters.  That day we were pre-storm and overcome by fast-moving stratus clouds ready to dump a deluge of water on us!  Love that memory so much.) 
Coast to coast, I feel it.

Upon further reflection, I wondered if it was simply nature that had me in her palm.  
I love the forest and earthy greens and lakes and mountains and rivers and...oh, wait...found one...
The desert.  
(Forgive my visitors here who love, what I call, the barren wastelands.  Please don't hate me!)
Anyhoo, the more I thought about how out of place I feel in the desert, the more I thought about all of the places that really, really, really, really (just one more) REALLY don't feel like home to me.
So for you, dear family...
Friends, blog followers and new readers alike...
A list of all the things and places that make me have heart palpitations followed by the cold sweats...
A crash course in, what can only be described as, the antithesis of home for me:

  • Any thing or place having to do with math...math problems...math classes...math homework...math, math, math, math, MATH!
  • PTA meetings
  • School campuses (unless I'm doing the teaching)
  • Any new semester in a classroom (even when I'm teaching); a brand new teaching course; or students I don't know (diarrhea for 3 days prior...was that TMI?)
  • My husband's office parties
  • Any social event where I don't know anyone and have to make small talk

(Are we  sensing an introverted pattern here yet?)

  • The gym...fat, thin, average, in shape, out of shape...doesn't matter...give me a room by myself and cardio equipment with weights and I can finally, I mean, workout!
  • Most sports stadiums
  • Any new city until Day 3
  • Any difficult, honest conversation with a friend
  • Aaaaaaaaannnnnnd, wait for it...winner, winner, chicken dinner...
  • The hospital!!!  (Translation, any place I could potentially see blood or smell antiseptic aromas covering other bodily fluids.  I admire my daughter SO MUCH for wanting to be a nurse.  But please don't take offense, Coll, if we have to meet for lunch in the future somewhere other than the hospital cafeteria!)

Of course, none of this means that I will never go to school (done more than my share of Back to School nights and Open Houses over the past 15 years)...
Or that I won't visit you in the hospital when you're ill or getting treatment (oh, man, more than my share of this with family and friends....just sometimes have to sit down and look away as I turn green...)
It doesn't mean that I will never teach a new class (Every. Single. Year. for 26 years) or visit a new city.  (Waiting for Paris and Rome still...)
It just means when I am away from my comfort zone, I have to take a breath and remember that I can do it when I...
Rely most heavily on the grace of my Father to get me through it.
Rely on his strength and His calm.
Rely on the Holy Spirit to give me the right words when I'm overwhelmed.

Thank goodness for our God who embraces our crazy and is always and forever there.

{Is it just me or do you have places 
where you don't feel at home?
Please share in the comments here 
so I don't feel so cray-cray!
Thanks for stopping by!
#write 31 days

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