Friday, January 16, 2015

When Your "One Word" Ain't Whatcha Hoped It Would Be

2014 was my year of hope.
Hope...the "one word" I chose after much prayer and reflection.
Hope for the God-size dream I was working on at the time.
Hope in seeing my daughter through high school graduation and the big move to college.
(Ahem, hoping I wouldn't fall apart...)
Hope in my marriage.
Hope in new work opportunities that were comin' at me fast and furious after a season of rest.

I loved that word.
Whenever I got into a quandary, I would pray in hope for a clear answer.
When things were tough and I felt at the end of my rope, I prayed in hope for peace.
There were days I just whispered "hope, hope, hope" as a mantra when I had nothing else to say internally.
It was a good word.
It was a good year.

So you can imagine my anticipation when I began praying over my direction for 2015.
What "one word" would I be given?
I imagined encouraging words raining down on me like manna from Heaven.  Words like...

I imagined receiving exciting action words in a lightning bolt, electrifying my heart.  Words like...
Move it sis!

I began praying in earnest at the beginning of December, knowing that my "one word" would be forthcoming soon.  His one Word for me, His child.  What direction would I be led this year?  Which path would He have me follow?  I dreamily waited for the answer.

I heard it and knew immediately it was the one.
But I denied it for a few days in the hopes I was making it up.
"Can't be.
Nope, not this one.
Is it?
Please, Lord, make another choice."

But that relentless whisper was clear as day.  I've heard it's kind enough to know when I'm being called.  My encouraging, exciting, anticipated word?

Can you imagine a word more apt to send a recovering control freak into a tailspin?
But there it was, first in my heart, then seemingly, in every newspaper, television show, blog post and conversation I was having.  The words, "obey" and "obedience" and "obedient" kept getting thrown at me, hurled at my head like the knocks that they were.

Knock, knock.  
Who's there?
Adore who?  
Adore is between up!

There He was a knockin' and I knew I had to tear down the door to get to the heart of His call.  
The funny thing is, the more I prayed over the word, and the more I've started to adhere to it, the fear over what I'm going to have "to do" has begun to abate.
Because the reality is, if I'm truly listening and truly following, these constant acts of obedience will free me from anxiety over my "choices."  There is a clear direction provided.  There is a transparent Word.  I don't have to worry about saying no to someone I love or saying yes to too much because each time, I'm simply following direction.  As my friend, Mindy, said to me, long before I had started to embrace my directive, "Oh, I don't see 'obedience' as difficult.  I see it as 'surrender.' Your choices just got a lot easier and you can remove the burden of worry."  And you know what?  She's right.

Yeah, I can do that for a year.
In fact, I hope to do it forever.

{Figured out your "one word" direction
for this year yet?
Praying you're guided where you need to be.
Thanks for reading.}

Photo credit:  randomthoughtstome, Flickr

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