Thursday, May 15, 2014

Quiet My Heart

I needed to write this morning.
I've been needing to write for some time now.
But my proposed agenda has been holding me back.
Remember the post?  The last one?  Where I told you where I had been in my absence from this place and all I had learned?  How I detailed the travels and events; the many lessons and trials; the joys and the triumphs? Remember how I told you I would share all of it here with you?  
Remember?
Well, you may not remember, but I do.
And it's been holding me back from writing at all...

Because I thought I needed to follow through on what I said, rather than His plan for this space.

Ugh.

In the meantime, I've been putting aside all of the beauty and wisdom that has floated my way, convinced that my strategy was the right one.
"You have to learn to follow through on what you say you're going to do, Cynthia."
This has been a mantra of mine for the past year, as I have historically flitted from idea to idea, enamored with the prospects and the creativity...not so excited about the hard work it takes to bring the idea to fruition.
Wahn...wahn...wahn...
And, of course, the concept of "follow through" is an important one.

But here?
Well, this space is sacred.
It's not for agendas...plans...schemes...strategies.

This space is an open heart waiting to be filled with His Word.
His grace.
His direction.

Thank you, Jesus, for helping me rediscover that this morning.

So I may get to the lessons from my travels - and I may not.
I may share with you the joys and the tears - and I may not.
I may relive those observations of self and others - and I may not.
And do you know why I can't promise?
Because He's in charge.
He's the guide, the morning star, the compass pointing me to the words.

And His word for me today as I heard it whispered?
"Quiet my heart."
Simple.
Direct.
Necessary.
But, oh, so difficult for a woman like me to "follow through" on.



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