Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Hitting the Wall

Well, it finally happened.
In the campaign marathon I'm running, I've officially bonked.
I hit the wall.
I'm out of gas.


How is it I'm crashing and burning a mere 22 days into the project? 
I felt my faith stores were full when the starting gun was shot...overflowing, actually. 
And daily, whenever I've started to feel low, I've replenished the stores with Word...prayer...positive language.

Was my training time too short?
Did I start out of the gate too quickly, so anxious to see the finish line come into view?
At Mile 13, am I hearing less cheers from the crowds and seeing fewer signs of encouragement?
And if so, should that drive my energy? 
Or should I be drawing fuel from The One who gives life?

I think of all of those faith marathoners from Scripture who should have bonked and didn't.
Joseph and Paul imprisoned and abused...
Noah, looking like a fool with an impossible building task ahead and a potentially fatal deadline to meet...
Job, covered in boils, devoid of family and property, sitting in a pile of ashes...
Moses and the Israelites walking...and walking...and walking...(and did I mention walking?) looking for the Promised Land.
David opposing Goliath...
Ruth fighting hunger...
Jesus, all adversity...


When I study these greats, I am humbled at the smallness of my problem.
Yet why does it feel sooooo big?
Because it's my race.
My finish.
My strength being challenged.
It may not be a giant or an ark or a prison cell or a matter of life & death.
But it feels giant.
It feels as though I'm building something for Him.
And I feel as though I'm imprisoned by my fear of failing.
I don't want my faith to die in the process.

I want to finish the race.

So what to do?
I know the answer, but now I need to muster the resiliency.
I have to place one foot...one slow foot...one excruciating step in front of the other.
I need to feed off the stores of my faith, trusting in my years of training.
I need to listen for the cheers, search for the signs, and know, even when I can't hear or see them, His is loudest and clearest from the finish...shoring my spirit and strenghtening my heart.

- Searching for Him today.
Thanks for praying with me.
Thanks for reading.


1 comment:

  1. C . . . one of my favorite sayings is, "He may not come when you want Him, but He always shows up on time." :-) I have to remind myself continually that He is not constrained by the time of this world and therefore, I imagine his perception of it is different than ours. And, amazingly, in my own personal journey to walk the path He has laid out for me, I am humbled by the number of times that He has stepped in, just as I thought there was no way (fill in the blank) could be done. My life, from the outside looking in, probably still looks like a mess, but I have been privy to the beauty of the symmetry of the world He created for us, and I have faith that He will show up on time for both of us. Love you!

    P.S. I shared your update with the new designs today on my FB page. :-)