Monday, January 7, 2013

Old Habits Die (Hard)

Stale, stagnant, weak, ineffectual.
Old habits leave me feeling this way.
I want them to die.
I try quite often to eradicate them.
Don't I?
Feels like a constant war, yet I'll admit that sometimes I just get tired and want to give up.

The start of 2013 has been no different than any other in the world of news, articles, and blog posts.
They all address that age old theme: New Year's resolutions & goals.
(1) The most popular
(2) How to keep 'em and
(3) How soon before you'll break 'em.
(Translation:  Give up even trying to move forward ya' big, fat loser!)

I waffle each year on whether or not I want to choose a habit I'd like to resolve.
The waffling, turns out, is not a good way to start.
Some years I do make a resolution and some I don't.
This year, I didn't even consider making one.
(Yay, no waffling!)
Because when I considered those habits I'd like to change or improve upon, I realized that the habits with which I struggle don't define me or condemn me; there is no ultimate win or lose; there will never be a definitive resolution.

Essentially, I'm only human;
therefore, there will always be a brownie here
or a credit card bill there
or a line of gossip here
or a child's wayward attitude there
waiting to assail me. 

Yet it's in my walk with Him  -
strong or weak...
hiding or seeking...
limping along, being carried or running with endurance -
that will define how I will be set free of these earthly shackles.

So here it is.
I resolve to know Him.
To seek Him.
To serve Him.
And to ask for forgiveness when I wander off to a better known, more frequently travelled, less Spirit-filled path.
I resolve to live JOY daily in gratitude to Him for loving me...
guiding me...
accepting me...
forgiving me...
old habits & all.

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