Tuesday, August 21, 2012

What Are You Wearing?

I want to wear turquoise blue..and azure blue...and teal...
And kelly green and apple green and forest green (they make my hazel eyes look really green!).
I want to wear yellow and orange - except they tend to wash me out so I have to wear white underneath them, close to my skin to prevent me from looking dead.
I want to wear red, every brilliant, bright shade.
And don't get me started on white. 
I love white.
Love wearing white.
Love being surrounded by white.
It's like living in the Light.

The problem is, many times I find myself wearing the drab, dark colors of anxiety.

I am empathetic to a fault.
This is great if you're a friend or relation or student of mine.
It's even great if you are the person I stop on the street
to ask why you're crying and what I can do to help.
But it ain't so great being this empathetic and being ME.

I find myself wearing the worry of those around me.
My own worries I'm dealing pretty well with these days.
Prayer, devotion, silence, work out, talk to my husband...good band aids for my woes.

But when it comes to a dear friend or family member -
and seriously, sometimes even those whom I do not know...
those suffering in fear or hunger or disease,
I wear myself out by wearing their grief.
Clearly I forget that I need to ask prayers and petitions for them just as I do myself.
But by then I'm already dressed in the black, grey and putrid colors of gloom and sadness.

It takes me a day or two to recover, adding color back to my spiritual wardrobe.
I need to remember, when listening to a problem or a hurt or a loved one in their sorrow,  that rather than trying to come up with something clever to say...
Or a course of action to pursue...
Or threatening to run over the person hurting them with my Honda Hybrid,
I need to gather them in my arms, take their hands in mine, and offer to pray.

I know the Holy Spirit is with me in those (still too few and far between) sage moments when I do remember to ask for help.
Then when I ask and He helps, He clothes me in the spiritual white of His light.
In the bright yellows and oranges....
In the seaside blues and tree leaf greens...
In the brilliant, fiery, passionate red of His Word...
Yes, in the whitest light of His grace.


  1. I used to do this too. My friend's in high school joked I got more upset over the troubles in their loves than they did. And forget when I first started working in healthcare! That was TOUGH! But a few years ago, Dr. Archer helped me learn how to start letting go of other people's "stuff.". He helped me realize that when I tried to fix it for them or worried about how it would turn out, I was depriving them of the confidence they needed to see coming from me that they could solve it for themselves. I was depriving them of the joy of finding out that they could stand on their own. At the time, this was as much as I could grasp. Now, knowing God as I do, I don't worry about others anymore. I remember that they are His children also and He loves them just as much as He loves me, and God knows (pun intended) that He has shown me over the past few months just how very much He loves me. I send strength. I pray for them. I ask for Him to go to them and surround them with His love. And then I trust in His greatness and His goodness and trust that there is a lesson we need in every event and a rainbow always somewhere in those stormy skies. Excellent source of thought today, Cynthia! Thank you for sharing!!

    1. Ah, yes, you are right Liz...prayer is always the answer. So happy to have folks share with me...wouldn't trade that for the world. Just gotta remember afterward to lift them in prayer...then TRUST!!

  2. Got to love autocorrect and an iPhone that won't scroll so you can check your post before posting. Lol. For my fellow grammar folks out there - that was supposed to read "friends" and "lives" not friend's and loves. Sigh. Technology... :-)

  3. Gosh. Just perfect. Thank you Lord for using Cynthia's and giving her these words.... Love you C!

    1. Thank you Mary. I must admit that I also thanked God for this very special message put on my heart by Him. So grateful it touched you...Love you too.