And kelly green and apple green and forest green (they make my hazel eyes look really green!).
I want to wear yellow and orange - except they tend to wash me out so I have to wear white underneath them, close to my skin to prevent me from looking dead.
I want to wear red, every brilliant, bright shade.
And don't get me started on white.
I love white.
Love wearing white.
Love being surrounded by white.
It's like living in the Light.
The problem is, many times I find myself wearing the drab, dark colors of anxiety.
I am empathetic to a fault.
This is great if you're a friend or relation or student of mine.
It's even great if you are the person I stop on the street
to ask why you're crying and what I can do to help.
But it ain't so great being this empathetic and being ME.
I find myself wearing the worry of those around me.
My own worries I'm dealing pretty well with these days.
Prayer, devotion, silence, work out, talk to my husband...good band aids for my woes.
But when it comes to a dear friend or family member -
and seriously, sometimes even those whom I do not know...
those suffering in fear or hunger or disease,
I wear myself out by wearing their grief.
Clearly I forget that I need to ask prayers and petitions for them just as I do myself.
But by then I'm already dressed in the black, grey and putrid colors of gloom and sadness.
It takes me a day or two to recover, adding color back to my spiritual wardrobe.
I need to remember, when listening to a problem or a hurt or a loved one in their sorrow, that rather than trying to come up with something clever to say...
Or a course of action to pursue...
Or threatening to run over the person hurting them with my Honda Hybrid,
I need to gather them in my arms, take their hands in mine, and offer to pray.
I know the Holy Spirit is with me in those (still too few and far between) sage moments when I do remember to ask for help.
Then when I ask and He helps, He clothes me in the spiritual white of His light.
In the bright yellows and oranges....
In the seaside blues and tree leaf greens...
In the brilliant, fiery, passionate red of His Word...
Yes, in the whitest light of His grace.