Happy New Year to you all!!
Drew, Colleen, Braden and I had a wonderful, extended visit home with my side of the family in Alabama (more on the visit and lessons later), and I am finally back to writing...I missed it! So much to share, so I'm gonna start slow...
The day was January 2, 2012. For the first time since our trip home, my son had stayed overnight with my husband and me. Each night previously, he had slept over at his cousins'.
I was so excited to finally have Braden to myself. My husband was out on a run in the gorgeous Alabama sunshine while the two of us had just risen for the day. Braden came into my room and said, "Mom, I feel SO much better!" - a testament to the importance of a good night's sleep while vacationing. He wanted so badly to not miss a single event and had stayed up too late too many nights in a row. The morning progressed. I got him his breakfast, we chatted and laughed, and then he settled down, engaged in a book he had received for Christmas. I wanted to keep visiting, keep serving him, keep caring for him...my need at this point, not his.
I said to God, "I know You won't mind if I wait on my son this morning first rather than spend time with You. I feel like I haven't seen him for days, and I miss him so much." I did a load of laundry, made my coffee, washed some dishes, just generally puttered around, taking care of tasks that could actually have waited. Basically, I was just dragging my feet to sit in quiet contemplation...the pleasure of having Brae with me was my intentional focus. (In retrospect, I can't believe the gall I had to say the words above...as if God doesn't understand wanting to be with and care for His Son instead of taking care of all of us. Can you imagine if he asked the same of us? "Sorry, guys, but rather than defend all of you, feed you, clothe you, and just generally provide for you, I've decided to spend some one on one time with Jesus. We've been apart from each other for awhile and I miss him. Plus I need to scrub his robes on a rock, rinse out his oil jar and sweep out his hovel.")
Finally I sat to read and pray, and January 2nd's devotional began:
"As you spend time with me, your thoughts tend to jump ahead to today's plans and problems. Bring your mind back to Me...This sacrifice of time pleases Me and strengthens you. Do not skimp on our time together. Resist the clamor of tasks waiting to be done. You have chosen what is better, and it will not be taken from you."
Brand new year, same old message...but one that - again - made me laugh aloud. How many times will He need to remind me? Oh, God, how am I so transparent and you so All-knowing?? It's a bit disconcerting at times.
I know I will continue to err and misstep this year despite my intentions otherwise. I know I will sometimes choose, whether wittingly or unwittingly, the more humanly travelled path rather than the Divine, so focused am I on what is of worldly importance. I know I cannot be perfect or exemplary or flawless. I also know, however, that as long as I am relying on God to guide me, my footsteps will not falter from the eventual path He has chosen for me. What a relief!
So as I begin 2012, I look forward to more lessons, more choices, more living, more opportunity, more prayer and more messages! I cannot wait to see what God has in store.
I hope your Christmas seasons were joyful, grateful, peaceful, wonderful. Thanks for beginning your new year with me!! Cynthia