Tuesday, November 22, 2011

"Hello?" - "Yes, God Ringing"

I had approximately 100 loads of laundry to fold last Friday...okay, okay, maybe 5...just felt like 100.  My deal with myself is that, now that I am home all the time, I may not turn on the TV during the day unless I'm folding clothes.  Because let's face it, although I do not want my brain rotting out of my head with excessive noise and over-stimulation, who wants to do laundry for an hour without something to distract you from this mundane task?

As I did my chores, I settled in to watch The Dr. Oz show.  I will admit it...I am a sucker for this program.  I love learning new ways to take care of my dilapidated, aging body plus, I think Dr. Oz is charming.  This particular program was a bonus because Dr. Oz had Joel Osteen as his guest discussing the topic, "Medical Miracles," the power of prayer on healing.  It was a fascinating look at several case studies where the patients in question (one with a life threatening case of breast cancer and one with injuries from an automobile accident that exposed her legs to the probability of amputation) prayed specific prayers for healing and were completely cured.  Joel Osteen also shared his story of his mother being given 5 weeks to live thirty years ago with a terminal cancer diagnosis - after praying these same prayers, she is still alive and well.

The difference I found in the prayers of these faithful women and the great reminder that I received while watching this episode was not that there were miracles performed - this I believe happens all the time - but that the speech the patients used for healing was driven by gratitude.  I tend to say something akin to, "Lord, please give me the strength to endure this pain/problem/injury.  Please take it away as you see fit."  Instead, the patients on this episode - and thousands upon thousands, if not millions like them - pray, "Thank you for taking this away Lord.  Thank you for healing me.  Thank you for making my body whole so that I can do your will."  It's all a matter of communication through intention.  I'm begging, not believing.  I believe a miracle is possible, so why am I not calling for it?

"Hello, God?  Hey, it's me, Cynthia.
Thanks for taking away the ringing."
The current problem I have is a terrible case of tinnitus, ringing of the ears, that began in April and has persisted 24 hours a day ever since.  I NEVER have a quiet moment.  It is difficult, mostly, to fall asleep.  The last few weeks, my left ear has gotten markedly worse and with it, a tendency to "fill up" for 30 seconds or more at a time, while diminishing my hearing.  I have actually (after the first few weeks of it) never felt this would last forever.  I know it will go away one day.  But still I pray, "Lord, please help me endure the ringing, the annoyance, the fear of losing my hearing.  Please take it away in Your time."'

Since last Friday's Dr. Oz, I realized I have to rephrase my prayer: "Lord, thank you for healing my ears.  Thank you for taking away the "noise" so that I can live peacefully in your presence, sharing Your light and love with all I touch.  Thank you for helping me find the right help, medical, spiritual, physical or otherwise to take care of this problem.  Thank you for leading me down the right path.  And thank you for granting me the silence so I can be still and grow nearer to You."

Cynics and skeptics (or "realists" as I have often called myself) may think this is a foolish way to live...not learning to cope, but looking ahead to something which may never be.  But I would rather know, as I am preparing to meet the Lord at the end of my life, that I spent each day thanking Him rather than complaining; looking toward possibilities of light and healing, rather than toward the darkness; using language of love rather than words of bitterness and contempt.  And when my ears are cured - whether it be today, tomorrow, 30 years from now or the last day of my life, I will know that God will recognize that I spent my years trusting Him for a miracle and will receive me gladly into His loving silence...or jubilant song...or laughing and merriment...whatever He sees fit as my reward for faith. 

2 comments:

  1. Cynthia, I did not realize that you have tinnitus. I have it also. I really miss being able to hear silence. Praying for succor had not yet struck me as a path to take until reading this entry. I will have to consider how to make this prayer.

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  2. I didn't know YOU did. It really bugs, huh? I have instated my new prayer system and although I have not seen a change in the condition as yet, I find that I am less anxious about never having quiet. Yay, prayers! I will say a prayer of thanks for you and your tinnitus as well!

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