Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Queen for a Day

I don't know about the rest of you, but ever since I was a little girl, I have dreamed of being famous.  It didn't matter the circumstance.  I even had a recurring fantasy about our pastor announcing to the congregation, "And today I'd like to recognize 9 year old, Cynthia McGonagle, for making a contribution of $.25 to the weekly collection and never missing a week.  Cynthia, would you stand please?"  And I would stand and "wave to all the people" - demurely, of course, because there's no ego in charity - and the congregation would go wild with applause!  I waited and waited but that day never came.  So I moved on to the next vision.  Over the years, I have mentally won the National Spelling Bee, an Emmy, an Academy Award, several Tonys and Grammys, and the Mother of the Year Award among others.  (Talk about delusions of grandeur!!!)  Now that I believe my performing career is over or at least indefinitely on hold, I guess I'll have to settle for the Pulitzer or Nobel Peace Prize.


Anyway, yesterday I was starting to feel anxious in the afternoon and was telling my husband I needed him to help me through it.  A bit later it was time to get Colleen from her Confirmation class so I said I'd get her.  I took my book, The Prayer of Jabez, with me and got to read about 10 pages while I was waiting.  By the time she got to the car, I was calm again.  I came home, Drew asked how I was feeling and I said, "Much better.  You know, whenever I get anxious, I have to remember before I do anything else or spin out of control, I should go first to my spiritual books.  I always find peace there."

So imagine my surprise today - not! - when I opened my daily devotional by Sarah Young and read the following:

"Anxiety is the result of envisioning your future without me.  So the best defense against worry is staying in communication with me."  Woohoo, I can't believe I actually came to this conclusion on my own before reading it.  Feeling pretty good about myself, I continued reading only to have the wind immediately taken out of my sails:

"If you must consider upcoming events, follow these rules: 1) Do not linger in the future because anxieties sprout up like mushrooms when you linger there.  2)  Remember the promise of My continual presence; include Me in any mental imagery that comes to mind.  This mental discpline does not come easily, because you are accustomed to being god of your fantasies."

Now in all the years of my televised acceptance speeches, I never envisioned God hovering over my shoulder.  Surely I got these accolades on my own, right?  Argh...I have been the god of my fantasies!


Heads or Tails, God?
So now I know moving forward, no step without God.  No moment of anxiety without envisioning His presence as my antidote.  No big move without His guidance and blessing.  And when I accept my Pulitzer Prize in a few years, I will thank Him first and He will carry me off the stage in His loving arms...then I'll flip Him for the trophy.


2 comments:

  1. Ahhhhh!!!!! So so true!!!! I needed this blessed reminder of who really needs to get the glory and who is really the producer of this show that I love to pretend I am starring in!!! Beautiful words to live by.

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  2. I can only imagine which awards you've mentally won! And I'm sure you deserve them!!!

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