Tuesday, September 27, 2011

Lord, I'm Tired

I'm about to fall asleep...literally...

I turned 43 last week and all of a sudden it's as if my body knows I'm older and is exhausted. My husband has been laughing at me the past few days. We have unexpectedly switched places. For the fifteen years we have been married, he has fallen asleep in the evening, on the couch watching TV or on top of the bedclothes, reading. And I have been the Energizer Bunny into the wee hours, wide awake, unable to sleep, mind racing, body wired. (Of course, he is a total morning person and I LOATHE to be awake before 7AM.) But lately, he will enter the room to find me holding a book in front of me - with my eyes closed. This change is a bit disconcerting.

There is a great Negro Spiritual that addresses the "tired" in all of us:

Precious Lord, take my hand.
Lead me on, let me stand.
I'm tired, I’m weak, Lord I’m worn.
Through the storm, through the night,
Lead me on to the light.
Take my hand, precious Lord, lead me home.

Sure, this is addressing world-weariness,not physical weariness. But they can become one in the same.

So this morning I awoke, again with exhaustion enveloping my spirit, and I said to my husband, "Why am I SO tired?" I needed an answer. Ten minutes later, I was reading my devotional and the words by Sarah Young leapt off of the page:

"Relax in My everlasting arms. Your weakness is an opportunity to grow strong in awareness of My Almighty Presence. When your energy fails you, do not look inward and lament the lack you find there. Look to Me and My suffiency; rejoice in My radiant riches that are abundantly available to help you."

Another knock on the head. Got it, God. No more lamenting or questioning. Perhaps my tiredness is not older age or lack of personal resources but the need in me to lean on You!

Luckily, God's abundance which is available to help me includes my morning cup of coffee...

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